I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
