She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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