worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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