so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
