I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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