I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
me + whiskey = a bad person
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
