Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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