I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize