he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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