I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
