Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
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I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
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We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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