You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
