I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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