Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
