I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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