ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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