Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
