there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
True strength comes from lack of pants
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
