Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
only you would photoshop your dick
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
