i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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