I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
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I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".