i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
there is puke in my bra ... again
How naked do you want me to be?
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