Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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