So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize