I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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