Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
