So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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