I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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