i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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