He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
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I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
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It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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