RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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