So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I cannot find my penis.
I think I am morally bankrupt
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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