Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
