You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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