oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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