some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize