It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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