STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize