apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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