It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
