the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
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I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
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