i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
