We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
