hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
