We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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