she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize