words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Pants are for mortals
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