this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
