I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize