The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
