dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
