Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
