i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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