Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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