Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize