Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
